Bollywood’s Bad Moments- 5 Big Letdowns

Okay, so 2014 was a pretty good year when it comes to movies (a list of the best of the year will be coming up in less than a week). But like almost every year of movies, it was not without its own big let downs. And certainly not without big failures.

But this time, I am even hurt more with the films that had genuine potential to be exciting, entertaining and even brilliant but ended up being damp squibs all of them. So, here is a list of the 5 films that could have been pretty good for the moviegoers and maybe, some of them have been big in raking money but in terms of filmmaking and cinema, they are letdowns.

So, 5 disappointments- (spoiler alert, you can spot some popular blockbusters in them as well). And as for the truly terrible- ‘Humshakals’, ‘Singham Returns’ and ‘Action Jackson’, well they are so bad they can’t even be called disappointments. ‘Crimes’ would be better.

5- Kick

Director- Sajid Nadiadwala

I remember pretty clearly that my first review of this pretty brainless Salman Khan-starrer, that made hundreds of crores and kept on telling us about a Friday night (hear that, Jason) was pretty positive and now, in retrospect, I blame it entirely on how I got roped along with the cacophonous chaos of the monstrous Salman Khan fans thronging the seats in the theater, whistling, hooting and clapping at the most ludicrous moments, screen idol worship at its most perverse. Blame it on the fact that the movie is aired on TV channel almost on a weekly basis but watching it all over again, I do feel that it is well a strictly average film.

There is too much of a Salman-Khan-addiction in the film (we normally blame Shahrukh and Aamir for lavishing their characters all the praise in their starrers, but while Salman might be a screen god, even gods have limitations) and it clearly soaks the film and traps it into a messy form of hero-worship that feels genuinely preposterous in today’s smarter, realistic times. And what’s worse is that the hero itself is something of an overlong joke.

Sure, fans might kill me for saying it but truth be told, Salman, playing the ultra-smart Devilal and his alter-ego Devil, a way-too-brawny thief on the run stealing a mask from Hrithik Roshan in ‘Krishh’, plays his character in an embarrassingly hammy way- while he still has cocky charm, he blurts out his pitiable lines as if they are written by Salim-Javed, he keeps on infuriatingly repeating that he wants a ‘kick’ like a delirious addict asking for one more joint and while he peps up the action scenes, which are thankfully well-done and immediate, his quieter moments are anything but quiet.

Add to that Jacqueline Fernandes as the bland and simpering heroine, who has forgotten to smile, let alone sparkle and a lazily scripted narrative that first piles up nonsense, then something of a bad whodunit and finally, a pretty bad vigilante premise. 

If you do want to watch it still, watch it for Randeep Hooda’s tough-as-nails yet highly likable cop and Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s snarling villain, making popping sounds and cackling in laughter, at the rest of the movie maybe.

4- Kill Dil

Director- Shaad Ali

Fans of ‘Saathiya’ and ‘Bunty Aur Babli’ did cheer when it was announced that Shaad Ali, after more than 7 years of limbo, returned to make a film for Yash Raj Studios, the thrillingly titled ‘Kill Dil’, taking its name from a Quentin Tarantino classic of fast action and cinematic references.

Like all Ali films, it begins promisingly as the slick and colorful trailers and promos promised us- Gulzar’s words- sounding straight out of a Cormac McCarthy paperback- echo in the background while we are introduced to a duo of gun-toting killers wandering the urban highways up north- Ranveer Singh’s Dev as a sort of bouncy Butch Cassidy and Ali Zafar’s savvy Tutu (!) as his Sundance Kid and a great, giddily thrilling title track playing while the dancing and rejoicing funnyman of the 90s- Govinda- makes a dashing comeback.

Alas. If only Ali knew what to do with such a potentially thrilling threesome acting as gangsters. What he does is far more criminal- pile on more ‘Dil’ than ‘Kill’ and yes, make an utter waste of the heroine.

Parineeti Chopra as the totally inscrutable Disha is the weak point of an otherwise fairly entertaining lineup (Singh is endlessly charming while Govinda does cartoonish evil quite deliciously) but that’s not all- Ali might go high on style and spunky music but his script goes nowhere- it’s also not even a proper script for a comic caper, let alone a masala thriller and instead of sizzling action, sexy romance and solid old world charm offers only nonsensical comedy.

3- Happy New Year

Director- Farah Khan

Yes, right, we knew it. That Farah Khan cannot really move out of making pedestrian fare, disguised as supreme entertainers packed with cruel humor directed to celebrities and flimflam and everyone else and that her take on ‘Ocean’s 11’ as well as revenge sagas of the past would be something that can be avoided.

Except for the fact that it had the lead pair of clearly the only decent film that Khan ever made.

But to what purpose? At nearly 3 hours, ‘Happy New Year’ is no different than all the Sajid Khan and Rohit Shetty’s films clubbed together for a special screening on a particularly crowded night.

The plot of revenge by heists might have something of a ‘Dhoom’ style superficial density to it which looks misleading and yes, even Shahrukh Khan’s greying yet muscular hero Charlie- with his repetitive yet addictive dialogue delivery- hints at edgy things.

But whatever seriousness there is, it is all washed away as the extremely nonsensical plot unfolds- of dance events, of diamonds, of Dubai hotels with extraordinary security measures that would shame Terry Benedict and- the worst of it all- a team made of fools rather than clever tricksters (save for, maybe, Deepika Padukone).

Wait a minute, that’s not all. I almost forgot the cruel jokes about deaf people, about epilepsy and about an incredibly talented filmmaker, who has no business being here.

      2-  Ek Villain

Director- Mohit Suri

Okay, so here comes the big villain of the year’s movies. A film that, while trying to be something of an intriguing romantic thriller, ends up being a bad, bad film, one that should be taken far away from the public and locked up in some trunk or something.

And yet it had potential. Come on, people. Shraddha Kapoor has already proved that she has a chop or two in acting, Siddharth Malhotra, the new heartthrob for the girls, did feel promisingly gritty and Riteish Deshmukh as a scheming villain made perfect sense.

Instead of a good blend of all that, we get an exercise in pointless blood-letting, candyfloss romance and unintentionally hilarious drama which does not even have a bit of suspense, genuine romance or even a happy note.

Rather, it is depressingly directed, badly, hammily acted (save for maybe Deshmukh, while Malhotra is not even acting) and as a film, it is just too painful to bear.

God save us all.

1            1-  2 States

Director- Abhishek Varman

Sorry people, who spent their precious bucks in multiplexes and came out, with ‘wonderful’ insights on inter-culture marriage.

Sorry, to the youngsters who thought the film connected so well with their own problems and issues regarding marriage.

But I have to say that ‘2 States’ does nothing of these things at all.

It only repeats what has been said- all the same stereotype jokes about North Indians and South Indians- of chicken-eating Punjabis and unfairly dusky South Indians (okay, so Abhishek Varman, Alia Bhatt’s Ananya might be the only fair South Indian girl, down there, right?)

This is regressive cinema at its worst- a slickly packaged yet supremely bland and lackluster film that tries to be like a modern-day yarn of romance and marriage in culturally diverse India but only ends up saying one thing- that pre-marital sex can lead to empty romances.

The romance is rushed and punctuated by songs rather than by scenes, the actors are wasted- the plot is virtually non-existent, in search for some melodrama so as to keep the viewers in and as for Arjun Kapoor’s disgustingly dour hero, less said the better.

As I will always say, it’s not bad. It’s not good. It’s just bland.

Trailer Talk- Detective Byomkesh Bakshy

There is something to be said for a filmmaker who has dabbled in design.

Dibakar Banerjee, one of the most artistically-gifted directors in our current times, had started out at NID (National Institute Of Design) before dropping out and dabbling in advertising. So, while his films do carry that incisive, sneaky, truth-squeezing grittiness of powerful advertisement, they are also exhibits of unique design in themselves.

So, we saw the color and frolic of Delhi’s suburbs come alive in little visual nuances in his first two knockouts- ‘Khosla Ka Ghosla’ and the particularly-smashing ‘Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!’, in which he made the gaudy bars and restaurants as well as the artistically decorated plush apartments of the city’s urban classes. And we also saw the brittle, shaky and constantly edgy world of scratchy surveillance cameras Tom-peeping into the private damaged selves of the characters of ‘Love Sex Aur Dhokha’, as well as Costa Gavras’ immortal classic ‘Z’ imagined as a modern-day tale of Indian corruption in a seedy everytown called Bharatnagar in the gripping ‘Shanghai’.

But when it comes to period cinema, well, sir, design matters a lot.

And so, when the titles of the teaser announce ‘1943- Calcutta’, we are instantly hooked, expecting that something unusual, never-seen-before will unfold in front of our eyes.

The City Of Joy might have become a new rage among filmmakers but honestly speaking, the city has been merely captured as a superficial façade- with only one film- that is Sujoy Ghosh’s ‘Kahaani’- just actually getting into the nooks and crannies, its overflowing sewers and its languid lethargy. Often, most of us have been merely contented with lazily wandering trams, yellow cabs and of course, the boats below Howrah Bridge, bobbing on the waters of Hooghly.

Which is all very fine and good but trust Banerjee to give it all a superb, stylish twist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3sv6Frp8qw

The Calcutta of the film is in the throes of the effects of war- with British troops marching down its streets- gearing up against the Japs at the Kohima border while somewhere in the colorful Chinese quarter of the city, a mystery is waiting to be unfolded.

The trailer is snazzy in cutting and editing- with the mesmeric visual palette reeking of lurid sin, bright stained reds and yellows,  shady corners and Angle poise lamps and menacing Chinese men wielding daggers and more while at the edges looms a svelte femme fatale with her shoulder blades alluringly filling up the frames.

Whoa!

Banerjee has always a gift for making the mundane look exceptionally striking and impactful but here the tools at his disposal are already striking to begin with and he caresses them almost sensually.

So, along with a femme fatale, we have old, creased maps, corpses, the folds of a dhoti, a sneaky detective peeking through a carved window and all this comes before your jaw actually hits the floor.

And to let the audience guessing, albeit a little fruitlessly- for we all already know it all- Banerjee refuses to show us his leading man- merely focusing on his dhoti-sheathed legs on a moving rickshaw through the streets and it is only as we hear his voice as he watches the skyline of a war-battered city at his disposal that we feel totally convinced.

It was already a big event that Aditya Chopra signed up Dibakar Banerjee to helm a film that seems all set to revamp the image of Yash Raj Films, from a studio happy enough in releasing rehashed throwbacks to the iconic films of yore into a seriously reliable churner of intelligent entertainment.

With ace directors like Shimit Amin and Habib Faisal already on the payroll, they seem to have now brought in the big fish with Banerjee’s unconventional style a healthy contrast to the safe play that the studio’s outings have always done.

But now with this smartly cut, sleek and dazzling teaser out on display, looking more like a lavish Tintin comic set in an authentically retro-fitted Calcutta, it looks that we are in for a delicious, luxurious meal of mystery, murder and ‘Macher Jhol’ served in truly vintage style.

Dig in, people. Hold your hands for the big release next year. And expect that Dibakar will more than whet your appetite for something fishy.

Watchmen- How The Movie Fails To Match The Novel

Zack Snyder’s ‘Watchmen’, a ‘faithful’ screen adaptation of the deservedly iconic and legendary graphic novel by comic book wizards Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, begins on a promising note. The camera zooms out of the traditional Smiley badge and spreads its gaze on a greying, muscular man as he watches TV- first a series of news broadcasts about the impending nuclear showdown with Soviet Russia (this is 1985) and then about USA has the strength of nuclear-age man Dr. Manhattan, a glowing blue superhero, on its side. The elderly man meanwhile gets bored and switches instead to an erotic TV show and grins with pleasure.

Yeah, right, for us fanboys, the people who pored over the pages of the massive source novel- who still remember the quotability of Moore’s searing, non-linear, pulse-pounding script and who still feel mesmerized by the sheer scale and arresting detail of Gibbons’ flawlessly dramatic illustrations- that is the kind of introduction that a character as twisted and terrifically amoral like Edward Blake, aka The Comedian, rightfully deserves. So, maybe we got to hand it to Snyder and his team for getting that at least right.

Alas, what follows next ruins it all. Without warning, the film suddenly cuts to a lengthy and time-consuming action scene; I forgot to say that it was rather relentlessly gory as well with splashes of blood and breaking of bones, not to forget that it ends with a freeze frame moment of Blake being hurled through a glass window- taking a direct cue from the same illustration.

Really, is this how Moore and Gibbons actually intended it to be?

People who watched Snyder’s earlier outing, the shamelessly escapist ‘300’ which seems to have encouraged other young jocks to come up with their own hopelessly sadistic ventures based on some piece of historical legend, churning out historical junk instead, will not really be surprised at how Snyder takes up the rest of the film from that unendurably violent action scene- ‘Watchmen’ the film is every bit bloated, messy, hammy and unpleasant as much as the original comic book is gritty, lively, forbiddingly dark and heartbreakingly passionate.

Perhaps it should be understood properly quite why is ‘Watchmen’ held in such high regard by comic book junkies and the rest of the reading circles as well. Moore and Gibbons did not just churn out a typical bash-em-up superhero comic strip; they unleashed the opposite of it. Instead of typical clunky American patriotism embodied through its costumed heroes, it offered a radical view of them- portraying them as messed-up, flawed individuals trying to find some semblance of sanity in an increasingly turbulent time. Blending blood-splattered brutality, unbridled sex and uncompromising nihilism, it not only broke all the rules of comic books but also used its fierceness to make pointed and acerbic commentary on the ultimate American Dream, of peace, prosperity and security. It was not just a comic book- it was a masterpiece.

So, maybe, Snyder, despite all his innumerable flaws, deserves some credit for trying in his best to capture at least some of the irrevocable sadness, poignancy, visceral violence and passion at the heart of the twisted tale. Sure, some of it works, in bits and starts and the film also does a good job of sticking to the comic book’s neon-lit, nocturnal, moody style quite well. But maybe Snyder forgot what Moore himself famously said of his own material- ‘It is unfilmable’.

The problem is not in whether the film deviates from the novel’s plot or the characterization or sticks loyally to them. When it comes to that, Snyder and his writers David Hayter and Alex Tse have done a good job and for most part, the characters on the screen reflect their true selves from the comic book. The Comedian is every bit nihilistic and sarcastic as required; Ozymandias is every bit as wise and worldly as the comic book had it; we can also clearly make out Nite Owl 2’s disillusionment, Rorschach’s fascist violence and Dr. Manhattan’s stoic indifference to human affairs. And save for a few tweaks in the plot, including a dramatized, slightly modified and lengthy confrontation in the climax, most of it stays as it is.

The thing is that Snyder’s faith to his material goes little beyond that. He simply does not get the essence of Moore’s fiery writing nor does he really understand the simple and crystal clear genius of Gibbons’ illustrations.

The fundamental error is in how the film treats its premise. Moore famously said that the opening murder of The Comedian is a portal- as a sneak-peek into the world of the superheroes and what it meant to be one in tough times. And that was how it happened- with that murder, we see through the world through the eyes of the remaining heroes- in their words, in their actions, we see their interpretation of the political and social troubles of the time.

Snyder’s film does not get that. He, Tse and Hayter are all keener in jumping through the comic’s crucially important subtext to stick more to the twists and turns in the plot. So, barely do we have time to reflect on each of the heroes’ reflections on their acquaintances with their now-dead comrade then we suddenly latch on quickly to how Rorschach tries to unveil the mystery and suddenly, the film shifts from nostalgia to noir thriller without warning.

It hurts a lot to a fanboy to see some of the strongest parts of the comic excised in the favor of crowd-pleasing compromise- I hated the fact how the Minutemen story explored in Hollis Mason’s ‘Under The Hood’ is sorely ignored- Mason himself appears as almost an extra in the background, when in fact, even some of the narration of Mason’s account, could have added more insight and nuance to the characters and milieu. What is even more damaging is how almost every other character other than the heroes is ignored for some reason or the other. Bernie, the man at the newspaper stand, who plays a fairly integral part through the comic book, is regretfully sidelined as merely an extra (though in one of the deleted scenes, one can see him in a fairly integral part) and that prophetic comic book-within-comic book ‘Tales Of The Black Freighter’ is only given a fleeting reference. In the original, Moore used that ghastly tale of bloodthirsty sea pirates as a parallel to the ongoing chaos in the book and in many places, the text of that book is beautifully and extraordinary interwoven by Moore with the incidents of the plot, down right to the actions of the characters. But nah, nothing of that is visible in the film at all.

Sure, it can be excused that Snyder and his writers wanted to cut out some of the more material that they must have thought as redundant. That might be excusable but what is worse is how the film veers off Moore’s intended tone and tenor. The beauty of his narrative and Gibbon’s illustrations lay in how they rooted the world of ‘Watchmen’ in the real, existing world around us. Sure, there were themes of teleportation, alien invasion and there was quite a lot of gadgetry like an Owl-shaped airplane and more but most crucially, they never shied from using the violence and darkness of the story to give the book its shattering reality. None of this is evident in Snyder’s film. While cinematographer Larry Fong and production designer Alex McDowell do a fairly fabulous job of recreating Gibbon’s famous drawings rather immaculately, most of the time, Snyder is merely interested in nailing it as yet another sci-fi film with plenty of action and effects and no real logic. The earthy feel is sorely missing.

Yes, right no logic. For no reason does the film indulge into pointless action scenes which almost ruin the entire gritty and unheroic essence of the comic. And even the action scenes are anything but memorable. There is an excess of slow-motion shots, some uninspired music choices (watch out the prison break scene and you will know how Snyder messed up that quiet comic book scene with pointless wire stunts) and as for that climax, it need not be really action-packed to be emotional. All this pointless bashing around only ruins the comic book’s grittiness and makes it all like a mockery. And for no point does it amp up the sex to keep the adolescent jocks happy. Moore and Gibbons added the palpable sex for a thundering emotional wallop to the already turbulent proceedings; Snyder merely is delighted to show off some skin. Yeah right, Michael Bay, you found a rival for yourself.

Add that to the problems of the cast- most of the cast is simply chosen because they have some facial resemblance or the other to the characters. Really, Snyder, do you think that Moore and Gibbons only dreamt up cardboard cutouts? Each one of them deserves a strong, mind-numbing performance of gravitas but what we mostly get in the film is some good mimicry.

Malin Akerman, who for some strange reason is billed first in the credits, is frankly miscast as Laurie Juspeczyk aka Silk Spectre 2- I could have been happier if the role had landed in Jennifer Connelly- and the actress does little to make it work. Her body language, dialogue delivery and pretty much everything else lacks the impatient, impulsive pluck of the original character and even as she weeps and sobs in a chroma-keyed sequence (Snyder loves the technique clearly), we feel little for her trauma. Matthew Goode seems to have been chosen simply because he had blonde hair like Ozymandias and nothing else at all. The complex character- a man who justifies his evil as righteous and for the greater good and who exudes near-perfection in his personality- needed a stronger centrifugal force; Aaron Eckhart, so damn good in playing twisted evil in ‘The Dark Knight’, could have done it. Goode, looking more like a faded Edward Fox rather than heroic and stately, instead brings a blandness that is not even Nordic Aryan.

In contrast, Jackie Earle Haley impresses as Rorschach, bringing the right amount of menace and emotional fierceness to the proceedings. But the film makes the mistake of keeping him almost forever confined to the mask and the outfit. Sure, the gravelly voice and agile body language work wonders but what about some more scenes outside the mask? Still, the talented actor makes sure that we remember Rorschach the most, which is pretty much also saying that everyone else fades away in the front of his blistering presence. It is his ruthless backstory and his bloody misadventures in prison that make for most of the memorable moments in the film, though it also gives Snyder a sick excuse to indulge in some more blood-letting.

As for the rest, Patrick Wilson does a fair job of being Nite Owl 2, with the correct mix of geeky meekness and a clear-minded vulnerability that makes him quite endearing. Billy Crudup has the most interesting role of them all and originally his character Dr. Manhattan has some of the best lines from the comic but the way he plays it hardly makes any difference- for most part, he is not even Crudup but actually a CG-generated man made up of various parts- a simple man painted all in blue or wearing a blue-skin could have been more effective, helping us to see the tortured man inside his logical ramblings of jargon but no, the CG version of Manhattan is simply for spectacle purpose. And finally, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is simply chosen to play The Comedian for the simple reason that Robert Downey JR does not have that kind of brawn. Ron Perlman, though, would have been better.

Of course, there are still things to like. There is of course the film’s visual style, orchestrated sometimes as smoothly as the comic book- for whenever Rorschach sneaks, leaps and prowls through New York’s alleys and ghettoes, we feel as if those same unforgettable comic book moments have been resurrected. Some of the CG moments work quite spectacularly as well- like Dr. Manhattan’s glass-ship on the Red Planet, him calmly walking through the jungles of Vietnam, exterminating the Vietcong with his vaporization powers with Wagner’s memorable ‘The Ride Of Valkyries’ playing in the background, referencing obviously the greatest Vietnam film of all time, ‘Apocalypse Now’. When it comes to the visuals though, it would be better if you revisit Gibbon’s painstakingly illustrated panels of street gangs in New York and the napalm smoke in Vietnam.  Moore’s quotable lines have still survived thankfully and they still make an impact even when spoken by uninteresting actors with tone-deaf voices. And there is an unforgettably melancholic opening credits medley- charting the adventures of the Minutemen in a series of stunning, operatic montages with Bob Dylan’s suitably epic ‘The Times They Are-A Changing’ playing as a lament to the alternately dark and radical times of the country- from Hiroshima bombings to Cold War, from Andy Warhol to the Zapruder Tape to Flower Power and so on. All memorable bits, that are in fact more memorable than the whole movie.

Yes, that is the immeasurably sad part. For Snyder, his writers and his cast did have the chance to prove the great Moore wrong by creating a perfect ‘Watchmen’ movie. What they create is merely a bad imitation, done by someone who is merely awed by the book’s sheer breadth and scope, its relentlessness and grungy poetry, without really understanding how they all served a function, to bust genres and to break hearts. 

I don’t know about those, who are tired of Marvel’s kid-pleasing ventures and desperate to see some more darkness in the superhero genre (I am one of them too). For them, I would recommend better films by better makers like Christopher Nolan, Guillermo Del Toro and Matthew Vaughn. For the rest, I would only say that you can continue reading Moore’s rubber-tight narration and drooling over Gibbon’s textured, atmospheric and ingeniously interwoven panels. For Snyder’s film, even with all its effort, is merely yet another action movie for adolescents, which is happy with lurid skin show and explosions of what Rorschach memorably called ‘Human Bean Juice’.

The Best Of Bollywood- From Millennium to The Moment (2001-2012)

10- Lage Raho Munnabhai (2006)

It will be a crime worth capital punishment not to include Rajkumar Hirani as one of the forefront mainstream filmmakers of the first dozen years of the 21^st century (despite the contrived ‘Munnabhai MBBS’ and the plasticky and ponderous ‘3 Idiots’). 2006’s ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ has to be not only the finest work in his oeuvre but also one of the finest and neatest examples of feel-good mainstream cinema without pretensions. As a loosely held sequel, it not only surpasses the flashes of wit of the original with generous amounts of honesty and sincerity but it is also a far more neatly edged work; Hirani and co-writer Abhijat Joshi belt out a hilarious and heartfelt story that sparkles with wit and wisdom. As the love-struck lovable goon Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) embarks on a do-good campaign, goaded by a shimmering illusion of Mahatma Gandhi, and the ever-reliable sidekick Circuit (Arshad Warsi), the film gains unprecedented depths- it is a breezy romance, a rib-tickling comedy, an adequately moving and flexible social message movie all tucked into a film punctuated with splendid performances. Dutt and Warsi have never been better, Boman Irani does much show-stealing as the malicious property-shark while Dilip Prabhavalkar shows up in an inspiring role as the Mahatma himself, endowing the film with solid idealism; yet the film keeps it starkly and admirably real. Hirani’s direction never flags its pace and mints the film a truly stirring experience without sounding preachy.

9- Dil Chahta Hai (2001)

No matter how many young filmmakers may come up with their own stories of coming of age, Farhan Akhtar’s smashingly simple and stirring debut will remain to be the Holy Grail of the genre. It is not just how Akhtar blends the arthouse sensitivity and intimacy with formulaic mainstream elements seamlessly to craft a superiorly entertaining piece; it is also about how his skill at character-building and storytelling lend the film the stamp of genuine honesty. Three friends (played with ample conviction by Aamir Khan, Saif Ali Khan and Akshaye Khanna) embark on different paths of love, relationships and careers after a bitter argument, only to reunite in the end, finding that all they have is each other. Never too formulaic, never digressing into darkness, this is perhaps as smooth as filmmaking can get. But while the smooth edges may blur some of the reality, it never goes in the way of Akhtar’s honest, water-cool observations on growing up and falling in love. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s wonderfully poignant soundtrack blends in with Ravi K. Chandran’s visuals to lend a film a terrific, mesmeric beauty.

8- Rang De Basanti (2006)

Now there are some ( a growing minority) who think that Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s bold, provocative and brilliant urban patriot drama is one of those 80s’ vigilante films which benefits solidly from slick packaging and awesome music. Think again, cynics. By drawing sharp, well-etched and exceptionally nuanced parallels between the youth of the 2000s and the fired-up patriots of the 30s, ‘Rang De Basanti’ sets out to touch a raw nerve with guts and glory. The story- of how an aspiring filmmaker (Alice Patten), goaded by recorded memories of the turbulent 30s in India, unwittingly eggs a gang of friends to rediscover their inherent patriotism, might sound wooly but only on paper. It is Mehra’s superb execution of the material, armed with fellow-writers Rensil D’Silva and Prasoon Joshi, that makes the film a modern, subversive classic. The happy-go-lucky gang (played by the likes of Aamir Khan, Sharman Joshi and a simmering Siddharth) discover a cause celebre when their plane-flying buddy Ajay ( R. Madhavan) is killed in an air-crash and scandal erupts. True, the politics could have avoided some of the stereotypes and the climax is stretched to squeeze a shower of tears but for most part, this is blistering filmmaking, wonderfully leaping from the staccato dash of the modern days to the sepia-tinted violence of the past to make its arguments solid and convicing. Pity then about Mehra’s subsequent efforts- the metaphor-ridden and confusing ‘Delhi 6’ and the incredibly slow and hackneyed ‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’.

7- Chak De India (2007)

One of the reasons quite why ‘Lagaan’ is not on this list is because how it starts with great promise and has a great concept- of how unity can defeat an Empire, even in sport- but the film’s meandering storyline and its overlong running time ruin the impact. This is not the case with Shimit Amin’s breathless entertainer- a fired-up, snazzy and amply moving version of the same tale, done with much more precision and packed with more masala than ever. Amin and scriptwriter Jaideep Sahni rarely relax in his full-throttle narrative as they start with hockey hero Kabir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) defamed as a traitor to the country and then quickly cuts to the modern day when the same outcast returns with revenge- to fire up a slack team of women hockey players and make them win the World Cup. Sound familiar? Hardly so because Amin packs in the pace of an action film into the buzz of proceedings- from the verbal battles between the belligerent players and Khan to the turbo-charged hockey scenes unfolding as if Scorsese had a field day on the grounds and goalposts. Sahni himself keeps the central ideology simple and basic but loads it with plenty of clever characterization, ensuring that we cheer for each and every player on our side. And finally, there is Shahrukh Khan in the performance of his career, eschewing smugness to deliver full-throated fire, acid and warmth and confirming his kingship among fellow actors.

6- Omkara (2006)

No other Bollywood filmmaker can get medieval literature as good as Vishal Bhardwaj does it. And I am talking about none other than the Bard himself. History will rightfully recognize ‘Omkara’ as one of the truest and most spectacular adaptations of Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’ on the big screen. Bhardwaj masterfully transplants the central tragedy of romance and envy into the blistering, sun-baked rural chaos of Uttar Pradesh; his Moor is the tough-as-nails yet tender Omkara (Ajay Devgn) who heads a clan of loyal gangsters working for crooked local politico Bhaisaab (Naseeruddin Shah). After finalizing his plans to marry the high-caste Dolly (Kareena Kapoor), he decides to choose the prudent rookie Kesu (Viveik Oberoi) over the grungy, limping Langda (Saif Ali Khan) and sets into motion a fierce tale of envy as the green-eyed Langda plots his downfall. Faithfully placing the Bard’s legendary lines into scorching, profane lingo and recreating the feudalistic monarchy of the original source with casteism and gender domination in the badlands of UP, Bhardwaj also balances intense drama with subtle character study and sensual romance with near-perfection. Technically too, it is stunning- with leisurely Sergio Leone-style visuals by Tassaduq Hussain and earthy settings by Samir Chanda and Bhardwaj blends them both to create mood and milieu to recast the most dramatic and monumental moments from Bard’s prose in fully-blown beauty and intensity. Add that to the stellar cast- Devgn, Kapoor, Oberoi, Shah and the reliable Konkona Sen Sharma all deliver their thespian best while Saif Ali Khan is simply unforgettable as the limping and repulsive Langda, spewing vitriol and verbal abuse with reckless glee.

5- Udaan (2010)

Coming-of-age genre may have gained its fresh colors from ‘Dil Chahta Hai’ and the like but it is Vikramaditya Motwane’s bleak and brilliant debut that casts the idea of coming-of-age in murky gloom. On the face of it, ‘Udaan’ is the simple story of a young boy confronting a domineering father, who coerces him to join his factory and abandon his simple-minded writing aspirations. Look deeper and you will actually find the shattering revelations in its incisive storytelling. By depicting, in stark honesty, the particularly sadistic tastes of Bhairav Singh, the bad daddy essayed with chilling conviction by Ronit Roy, Motwane sets out to expose the glaring holes in the idyllic Indian idea of parenting and family. Singh is a flawed, furious yet utterly believable character who vents out his inner demons- of a possibly repressed childhood- on his utterly helpless son, Rohan (Rajat Barmecha, an excellent debut). Rohan’s odyssey against the tide of his father’s frustrations is beautifully contrasted against the parallel tracks of his younger step-brother Arjun, who faces Bhairav’s harshest abuse, his genial and warm uncle Jimmy (a mesmerizing Ram Kapoor) and his own gentle aspirations crushed under the weight of his father’s small-town-bred psyche. Along with the searing narrative, Motwane’s stark visuals of an oppressive Jamshedpur, dominated by smoke-spewing factories and cloudy skies (superbly captured by Mahendra Shetty) lend the film a poetic force, coupled by Amit Trivedi’s elegiac yet enlightening score to make the film an everlasting story of coming of age against all odds.

4- Dev-D (2009)

Few blunders have been as grievous as handing out the top prizes- and much undeserved honor- to that bloated, self-indulgent college satire ‘3 Idiots’ despite its sheer entertainment value, in the face of 2009’s true champion- the incendiary, explosive ‘Dev-D’. It is not just Anurag Kashyap and (it must be said) actor Abhay Deol’s snazzy, jazzy, stark and sexy revamp of the ‘Devdas’ saga that makes this film such a potent, heady delight for true aficionados; rather, what makes it more seminal in the recent history of cinema is how it reinvents and debunks all the myths about romance in our filmmaking. The central character- Dev (a stunning Deol) goes the downhill path, not only from a flaw in his character- he is after all a born loser- but also with the urban, sybaritic arrogance that makes him think that he can take even love and feelings for granted. But when rural lass Paro (Mahie Gill in a fiery debut) shows her spine and spurns him, it is time to hit the bottle and hit the streets and this is where Kashyap’s psychedelic chaos kicks in, with gut-wrenching effect. And yet, thanks to the blazing, laconic screenplay (by Kashyap and Vikramaditya Motwane), the heart-stopping, haunting yet spectacular imagery (courtesy of Rajeev Ravi) and the moody, melancholic score by Amit Trivedi (clearly the finest talent we have in recent years to rival A. R. Rahman), the film emerges as a piece of art, an experimental yet instantly accessible and relevant tale of romance and despair that rivals ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge’ in its iconic stature. Further on, by interspersing the parallel track of the lonely call-girl Chanda (Kalki Koelchlin) with a bitter, news-headline inspired past, Kashyap’s film emerges as a miracle of dark, dystopian filmmaking.

3- Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! (2008)

Comedies have been either sparklingly funny (Rajkumar Hirani) or embarrassing raunchy (blame it on numerous Ekta Kapoor and Indra Kumar outings) but it is indeed rare to find comedies which also emerge as finely detailed portraits of social and class divisions in a city seemingly obsessed with wealth, amidst the widening gulf of status in India. Dibakar Banerjee, who made a smash debut with the hilarious ‘Khosla Ka Ghosla’, goes one step up with his second venture- a Barry Lyndon-style tale of a man rising from rags to riches in an extravagantly rich Delhi through his kleptomaniac behavior. In depicting the tale of the smart-aleck Lucky (Abhay Deol), Banerjee along with co-writer Urmi Juvekar and Manu Rishi (who also played the delightful sidekick Bangali) doff their hat at Sai Paranjpe as they punctuate Lucky’s rip-roaring exploits with plenty of incisive, nuanced and satirical depictions of the capital city’s many nooks and crannies- from small-time dealers selling stolen goods, to buzzing discotheques where the super-rich come to play and to the rich, upper-class enclaves. However, while there is plenty of fun from the hilarious dialogues and crackling performances (Paresh Rawal shows up in a three-in-one portrait of the various shades of the city, signposting Lucky’s journey to the top as well as his fall), this is also a film with a darker vein of humor. The laughs are more cynical than full-throated hilarious, the characters are not merely colorful goonies having a ball but rather malicious people who plot Lucky’s decline while Lucky emerges himself as a delusional character, whose starry-eyed dreams go for a sobering toss. Armed with Deol’s charismatic, cocky performance, Banerjee decorates the gripping story with amazing technical finesse as well to craft a truly sensational portrait of a city of pomp and show and a man who wants to be a part of it all. Even with trail-blazing work throughout the years- the caustic ‘Love Sex Aur Dhokha’ and the creepy ‘Shanghai’- this remains to be Banerjee’s most true and unflinchingly comic portrait of human society’s flaws.

2- Maqbool (2004)

When I first watched 2004’s ‘Maqbool’, I felt that it was an innovative twist on the Macbeth legend with an amazing cast. With subsequent viewings, I have only gone on to admire it for the deep, scalding intelligence which Vishal Bhardwaj’s film rolls out with breakneck speed and reckless fury. What particularly amazes us is not just the inventiveness with which Bhardwaj and his cast replay the legend in the scenario of twisted loyalties in a decadent Mumbai gang. Loyal henchman Maqbool (Irrfan Khan) is totally dedicated to his boss- the devilish and aging Abbaji (Pankaj Kapur) but loses his heart to the latter’s devious wife Nimmi (Tabu) and soon is swayed by her and a duo of crooked cops, acting as the Three Witches, (played by Naseeruddin Shah and Om Puri with brash panache), in a cold-blooded scramble for power. While Bhardwaj directs the quirky and lightening quick tale with a flair for dread and ferocious poetry, the genius of the film lies also in how, within Abbas Tyrewala’s rubber-tight script, there lie layers of unconventional wisdom. Abbaji’s Muslim gang operates with the political aid of Maharastrian clan leaders, while Maqbool, himself a devout Muslim, falls prey to the myths of Hindu astrology, which eventually propel his doom. Behind it all, lays a solid slice of cold logic, as cops bend the rules to manipulate the blood-splattered saga unfolding in front of them. Bhardwaj has been on a trailblazing run all these years and while we love him for the mesmerizing ‘Makdee’ and the mad and brilliant ‘Kaminey’, it is this film which thrills us with its grittiness and sobers us with its acid wit. And yes, the performances only feel much more indelible than ever- Irrfan is brilliant as ever, Kapur steals the show with a towering performance, Piyush Mishra, Shah and Puri lend in terrific support while Tabu creates an unforgettably menacing Lady Macbeth.

1- Gangs of Wasseypur (2012)

Okay, so I am cheating here, by picking out two films, which are actually rolled together into one mammoth filmmaking accomplishment. And so what? The truth remains that, even as this is the latest entry into the list of greats, as this decade goes by, Anurag Kashyap’s two-part gangster saga will be commemorated as clearly the most iconic, sensational and legendary movie of our generation. Maybe, we are already lapping it up as the new ‘Sholay’ of current Bollywood. Every single ingredient in Kashyap’s sizzling cocktail of East and West- of Prakash Mehra and Francis Ford Coppola- remains to be as exotic, mesmerizing and spicy as it has been. The performances and the characters are all larger-than-life yet utterly raw and real- from Manoj Bajpai’s deliciously nasty gangster Sardar Khan rampaging on a revenge for his ancestors, (his most outstandingly devilish act since the demented terrorist in ‘Aks) to Tigmanshu Dhulia as the sinister coal kingpin standing in his way, and from Nawazzudin Siddiqui’s fiery and fast Faizal Khan to the women- Richa Chaddha and Huma Qureshi set the stage on fire. Random names entered the vocabulary- from ‘Womaniya’ to gangsters named after mathematic terms- film memorabilia became even more monumental- from tearful 80’s songs in funerals to taunting enemies with posters and songs of Mithun-starrers of yore and the invective-laden lines entered the national conversation. Sneha Khawalkar belted out an avant garde soundtrack- from local Bihari folk singers to calypso crooners while Rajeev Ravi’s visuals captured the nooks and crannies of mofussil life and contrasted it beautifully with the chaos and violence- from Muharram crowds raining blood-splattered blows on their naked bodies to the tense, taut action scenes and the images of exploding mines of Dhanbad. And finally, with true gusto and glory, Kashyap wraps it all up, mixing biting satire and cheeky snark with cold-blooded violence and a wallop of emotions to deliver a magnificent kick on senses. India found its answer to ‘The Godfather’ series while the world got treated to a ballsy filmmaking experience like no other.

The Best English Films Of 2013

          

Okay, so here am I back, to present you all the finest English-language films of 2013. Last year, we toasted 2012’s medalists- ‘The Master’, ‘Django Unchained’ and ‘Lincoln’. This year, we will applaud the finest ten films of the year along with films that almost made it to the list……

Ah, 2013…..

It was an exceptionally exciting year for movies with unconventional ideas and scripts powered by solid filmmakers and spectacular performances made for a great time at the movies. While 2012 was the year for the mainstream audiences, 2013 was the year for the real connoisseurs and aficionados- those who love their cinema loaded with ample doses of style, substance and seminal, incendiary brilliance.

In fact, most of the films in this list are already vying for top prizes in the Oscar ceremony and it rather puzzles me why the usual pundits are placing their bets on only a few of them.

That said, this was a tough race and I had to leave out some really exciting films as well- but rest assured that the ones which did make it to the list are nothing short of breathtakingly awesome.

Okay, then let’s first applaud the runners up-

The 11^th place is for movies which almost made it to the list- brilliant efforts all but somehow lacking the gusto which the real winners had.

Zack Snyder’s ‘Man Of Steel’ packed in a wonderfully sober and sensational twist on the Superman story with enough panache but winded down with a Roland Emmerich-style blow-up climax;  Danny Boyle’s ‘Trance’ was a twisty and titillating trip through London’s groovy nooks and crannies while also handing us a stylishly crafted psycho-noir but became too self-indulgent; Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’ featured Cate Blanchett in her career-best turn as an affluent woman going off the rails but lacks the witty, ingenious touch of some of the director’s usual works…

And now we herald the champions…

10- ‘Pacific Rim’

Director- Guillermo Del Toro

Many-a-action blockbuster in today’s times end in a familiar and frustrating mess of collapsing cities battered in incoherent battles. But it was only Guillermo Del Toro’s jaw-dropping, spectacular and sublime monster actioner that made it look like sheer poetry. A wiseass throwback to the Japanese monster films of the yore, ‘Pacific Rim’ is as wet, sensational and thrilling alive as its name suggests- with the master writer-director blending the bare-bones of his robot-versus-monster story with much visual daredevilry to craft a crowd-pleaser for ages.

With spectacular, crunchy, gob-smacking action sequences between the relentless Kaiju monsters and the human-controlled juggernauts, and enough of Del Toro’s trademark visual camp and some surprising warmth between the proceedings (watch out for a stirring, stunning nightmare scene set in a ravaged Tokyo) this is unashamedly Hollywood blockbuster formula cooked up into a massively entertaining, off-the-wall crazy action film which knocks other, mediocre franchises like the ‘Transformers’ as neatly and spectacularly as it can. It does get predictable but trust Del Toro to make even cliché sound and look cool.

9- American Hustle

Director- David O. Russell

Style, rather than substance, rules the roost in David O. Russell’s unashamedly lavish caper film set against the Abscam sting operations of 1970s. The eclectic characters, from jaded conmen and nervy FBI agents and their devious, gold-digging wives and sweethearts, are all larger-than-life and swagger more than frequently on the screen, compelling us to make our jaws drop with sheer perversity of it all. And while Russell’s film may abandon the usual genre elements, it has the sheer confidence to make them the real explosives in the film.

It is all shiny, swelte and even indulgent to a fault but ‘American Hustle’- Russell’s soap-operatic love-letter to the 70s comes off as a ravishing and raw human drama, punctuated boldly and brashly with staggering performances and much visual cheek thrown into the cocktail, right from Scorsese-style long-shots to the rambunctious score and flashy editing that never let you up. Nearly everyone in the film- the paunchy and wig-wearing Christian Bale, the cleavage-baring Amy Adams and the lovably gullible Jeremy Renner- delivers solid acting punch while Jennifer Lawrence steals the show again as a fiery housewife with a penchant for creating disaster.

8- 12 Years A Slave

Director- Steve McQueen

Hollywood usually shies away from baring the more-than-skin-deep horrors of slave trade in pre-Civil War America- save for Tarantino’s brutally funny ‘Django Unchained’- a Western reimagined as a morality tale in the South. Steve McQueen, one of the most unrestrained and uncompromising directors in recent times, comes up with his own sweltering, bloody and emotionally raw take on the premise and the result is a film that, while being predictable, delivers a magnificent punch in the gut.

Faithfully based on the memoirs of real-life survivor Solomon Northup (essayed here poignantly by Chiwetel Eijofor) and his psychological and physiological struggle with the nature of slavery, McQueen’s film ends up being a harrowing yet rousing story of one’s man’s survival against the brutality inflicted as a result of his race. Contrasted incredibly against the idyllic Southern settings, the unforgiving tenor of the violence gives way to a sentimental and way-too-idealistic climax but this is more than compensated by the extraordinary performances- watch out for Michael Fassbender’s vicious and wicked slaver Epps, whose bursting, Bible-quoting badness makes all screen villains look like school bullies.

7- Captain Phillips

Director- Paul Greengrass

Few can direct the action thriller format as convincingly and thrillingly as Paul Greengrass, the man who made Ludlum’s spy novels and the 9/11 hijackings come alive in full, throbbing tension on the big screen. In this film, a masterly recreation of the Maersk Alabama hijacking by Somali pirates, Greengrass does something phenomenal- turning a regular hostage situation drama into a tense, sweltering and grittily authentic Herzog-style survival story that inspires yet instills dread.

Tom Hanks is nearly flawless as the titular protagonist- a disciplined mariner facing the biggest storm of his life as the malicious yet vulnerable pirate chief Muse (played with chilling realism by Barkhad Abdi) holds him hostage in a vicious game with heavy stakes. Greengrass, armed with master lensman Barry Ackroyd, superbly contrasts the verbose tension with the literal fireworks while smartly keeping politics out of the fray and crafting a remarkably objective character study that is as thrilling and sobering as the film’s splendidly brittle action scenes itself. And that shocking climax is sure to break many hearts as well.

6- Rush

Director- Ron Howard

Sports films will never be the same again.

Blending brash, bold and beautiful visual aesthetic with Peter Morgan’s turbo-charged, bloody and brilliant script, the relentlessly energetic Ron Howard has crafted a rare feat- a glorious, deliciously-off-the-wall Formula 1 racing film that celebrates the sport’s breakneck, brutal speed and the glory of finishing first. It is also a solid story of red-hot rivalry, captured faithfully in history’s milestones, between the diligent, ingenious racer Nikki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl) and the flashy and dashing champ James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) as they battle it out in a historic 70s tournament that is both sizzling and shocking to the senses and the soul.

T

he racing action is savage and shot with thrilling urgency, with Howard and wildly inventive cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle plunging us into the frenetic pace and hefty stakes with brash skill while Morgan’s script blisters with the scorching sparks between its leads. Both Hemsworth and Bruhl face off with terrific chemistry and emerge as heroic yet utterly real people, torn between their soaring ambition and their turbulent personal lives. And through it all, with the aid of sharp dialogue, superb supporting performances and tension enough for a Hitchcock film, Howard makes history thrilling alive, fast and furious.

5- Gravity

Director- Alfonso Cuaron

Talk about miraculous. Alfonso Cuaron turned the often-abused survival story format into an existentialist masterpiece set in the depths of open space and crafted a rare film- a 3D miracle that stuns us with the shattering yet sublime thrill, chill and beauty of its visuals, while keeping enough meat in the plot to give us that energetic and visually stunning kick that only great cinema can provide.

At its basics, this is a story often told- nervous first-time spacewalker Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) is stranded in zero-G chaos along with the talky and terrifically charming Matt Kowalski (George Clooney) and has to make her way back, to land her feet on solid earth. But Cuaron, with the skill of a technical visionary and compelling storyteller, turns the premise into a film which blends brittle, breathtaking thrills and wiseass humor with just the right blend of emotion and visual beauty to make a spectacular adventure.

There is much to love in the film- from the painstakingly created, awe-inspiring outer space scenarios (kudos to Cuaron regular photographer Emmanuel Lubezki and special effects geek Tim Webber) to the snappy repartee between Kowalski and Stone, and from Bullock’s intense, heartfelt and stirring performance to Cuaron’s mastery at balancing tension with dramatic weight, lending the film with ample doses of danger, heroics and pure narrative and visual poetry.

Whoa! Spielberg and Kubrick, please take a bow!

4- Inside Llewyn Davis

Director- Joel and Ethan Coen

Few people can depict the American landscape as skillfully and authentically as the Coen Brothers do. In this hilarious yet utterly humane story of a down-on-his-luck musician trying to grapple in frosty 1960s New York and its crazy characters, they reveal their hidden gift of crafting a truly melodious and melancholic musical which portrays one’s man’s vain attempt to make it big and reconcile with the people around him.

Oscar Issac delivers the performance of a lifetime as the jaded and jittery Llewyn Davis, an inscrutably unlikable yet magically gifted guy who has knocked up his girlfriend, lost the cat, belonging to a benevolent friend and has lost his fellow struggler to suicidal depression of the era. As he embarks on a quirky quest for self-discovery and redemption, the Coen Brothers paint an everlasting portrait of a nation and its hidden shades- of an outcast losing his last chance to reconnect with his fellow humans, and a musical that is unafraid to celebrate life’s mediocrity with a stirring tweak of the guitar strings.

Shot evocatively, pitched with deadpan humor and profound sadness and acted with solid conviction (check out Carey Mulligan as the hot-headed yet helpless girlfriend and John Goodman as a decadent artist), ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ takes us inside its messed-up character as well as the usual mess of everyday life. And therein lays its beauty, which stands out against the aching turbulence all around.

3- Dallas Buyers Club

Director- Jean-Marc Vallee

It is perhaps rare that a film centering on a terribly imperfect character may end up nailing him as the hero of the piece. And no, we do not feel for Ron Woodroof, that cowboy-hatted, foul-mouthed homophobic hustler, simply because he suffers from AIDS and is unable to get his hand on the medicines that can lessen the death sentence. Nah, rather, we feel for him simply because, in spite of everything, that man makes us wolf-whistle at his charisma, at the sure-footed swagger.

And yet, Woodroof is hardly a guilty pleasure because  gifted director Jean-Marc Vallee and writers Craig Borten andMelisa Wallack- and a super-capable actor in peak form- turn Woodroof into a constantly charming character- a character whom we want to improve as a person, and a character whom we want to live and come up as a hero.

Blessed with Vallee’s graceful and grittily realistic direction and Borten and Wallack’s rapid-fire narrative, ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ emerges as a rousing film- a heartfelt, hilarious and always heroic tale of a man pitted against odds and who won’t give up at all. And through his fast-paced, drug-driven quest for a new lease of life, he comes across people who change the way he lives and gives Vallee enough meat to inject solid, sizzling drama into the proceedings.

Jared Leto, as a transgender siding up as an unlikely partner for the vitriol-spewing Woodroof, creates wonders in an affecting performance while Jennifer Garner, as a troubled, unsmiling doctor lends the film’s its most harrowing moments. But this is a film about that one great man.

Matthew McConaughey has beaten almost every other actor in this generation by transforming from hunky eye candy to the scrawny, lean-limbed yet dashing Woodroof and yet, the change is not merely physical. Diving deeply and gloriously into Woodroof’s moral muck, McConaughey reveals his immense histrionic potential with what could be one of the most towering, intense, free-spirited and moving performances of all time.

2- Her

Director- Spike Jonze

Romance is a fine old wine that most filmmakers pour and pack it in stinky bottles that ruin the entire flavor. And we should thank our stars that we have Spike Jonze in terrific, wonderfully whimsically form- a kind of wunderkind, a vibrant, younger version of Spielberg who, with much bold imagination and plenty of oozing warmth, pours good ole romance into a hipflask that comes with some sizzling futuristic wizardry and tender emotions.

The result is ‘Her’- a sci-fi romance so sweepingly majestic, so striking sublime and so shatteringly relevant that it does not feel like a futuristic film at all.

Lonely guy Theodore Twombly (played exceptionally by Joaquin Phoenix) buys a quirky and nifty OS, which can behave like a human and boy, it does…like a lovely woman. Hold on, it has named itself Samantha and it has a lovely, lovely voice, one that belongs to none other than the supremely sexy Scarlett Johannson.

Between the two, an unusual and unlikely bond blooms and Jonze fills up the canvas with a riot of color, frolic, sensuality and intimacy to craft a heartbreaking romance for ages.

To call the film merely ingenious is a hell of an understatement. Jonze ensures with his blazing script along with his idyllic and intelligent direction that the fanciful yet utterly coherent ideas rarely interrupt the romance between the duo and while there is much to smile at, right from the quirks of modern technology down to the sunny moments between Theodore and Samantha, this is also a film that teaches us the quintessential importance of human affection and love.

A film about broken relationships, of broken hearts. And above all, a film about loners, both real and virtual, seeking contact, seeking romance. If this is not essential cinema, that nothing else is.

1-The Wolf Of Wall Street

Director- Martin Scorsese

Hold on the wolf-whistles for a moment please.

Martin Scorsese’s off-the-wall, insanely ingenious and unashamedly nihilistic masterpiece has won its own share of bravos and brickbats and indeed, a cinematic experience as unhinged and uninhibited as this does divide the audiences. What many people may not realize is that Scorsese, at 71, and only him, is capable of blowing up cinematic territory with terrific gusto.

And his latest- a radical 3 hour biopic rolled into the blackest of black comedies- is one hell of a storm.

Jordan Belfort, the hero and villain of the film, essayed by Leonardo DiCaprio with rippling energy and loathsome repulsion, is at the center of this outrageously true story of the boiler room scams of the 90s that burst into a carnival of sin- flooded with hooker sex, heroin and hard cash. Loved by his equally depraved cronies (Jonah Hill slams it as the slimy and slippery Donnie Azoff), lambasted by others, Jordan is nothing less than a Caligula of the stock boom era- a man who sinks deeper and deeper into his excesses and yet stays compellingly albeit guiltily lovable.

And through it all, Scorsese, forever the smarty pants director, armed with Terence Winter’s explosive script, makes us run and hunt with these hounds as they scavenge for cash- making us see with wide-eyed wonder at the ugliness which we all secretly crave for.

And so, ‘The Wolf Of Wall Street’ delights in its morbid spoils, speeding like a Ferrari in full throttle and plunges all the venality and horror at our face, willing us to react and therein lies the knockout punch of this chaotic party.

It is this generation’s ‘A Clockwork Orange’- and even better and with far more resonance for Marty is not merely making a political comment- he is asking us out open- is this the life- the corrupted one- that one should really lead? And the answers are as jolting as a bolt of lightning.

Go watch it. And yes, we can now have the wolf-whistles. Awooooooo!