Not all bands can fight and still be fabulous like The Beatles.
It is a bit startling, for instance, to realise that beneath the dazzling and eclectic versatility of 'The White Album', the pitch-perfect melodic brilliance of 'Abbey Road' and the hard-slamming edge of 'Let it Be', there was not just a conflict of interest. Instead, the recording studio had assumed the air of a battlefield with almost all four of them (with the notable exception of Ringo) sparking off with their talents and egos. And yet, the result is some of the most daring and audaciously spectacular work that they pulled off together, sealed with a poignant climax in 'The End', in which all four created the most stunning rock and roll solo ever.
That is what being a great team is all about, something that Zack Snyder does not understand.
The idea of a superhero team is potentially fantastic, even as it has been done to death by none other than Marvel which continues to not only make similar movies about one ensemble or the other but also make new teams altogether out of the same old guys and girls and some new members in tow. Yet, while the formula does not always work successfully, at least even the weakest movies, say 'Avengers: Age Of Ultron' or the excessive 'Guardians Of The Galaxy: Vol 2', offer us heroes or costumed freaks worth rooting for and who share a fairly thrilling level of repartee that makes them preposterous fun while they last.
'Justice League', Snyder's latest ham-fisted chunk of superhero bombast, has the diametrically opposite problem.
It is a well-known fact among us comic book lovers that, with no offence to fans of Captain America or Tony Stark, the distinguished members of the Justice League are more intriguing because of the rich wealth of personal backstory and characteristically sparky interplay they share with each other. It has always been interesting to see how the slightly nihilistic and cynical Batman can end up working with the samaritan Superman or how the laconic Martian Manhunter can kick ass alongside the constantly wise-cracking Flash. The wonder, as with Marvel's Avengers, is always in the uncanny way in which these mismatched saviours get together and save the world in style.
This film, to begin with, does not have heroes worth rooting for.
Sure, they may have names penned by legends like Bob Kane and Jerry Siegel but the so-called 'heroes' of 'Justice League' are in no way worth being called heroes. Yes, that means you too, Diana Prince, no matter how conventionally solid a standalone movie you got yourself some months ago.
Rather, this is a bunch of thick-headed and confused freaks who would do a lot better if they are left alone, without the need to fit into the plan of a man who was once a true delight on the silver screen but is now just a smug and self-obsessed snob.
When asked by a speedy and snack-chomping Barry Allen (who also dubs himself, with true relish, a 'snack-hole') as to what exactly his superpowers are, the Bruce Wayne of this film replies, 'I am rich,' thus making a distasteful political allusion that would have won him the love of Donald Trump. Being the undeniable dark-edged hero of the comics, Batman could have said anything, even about having 'eight-pack abs' as in the lovely, lovely 'The Lego Batman Movie', but Snyder's version, played by a patently unlikable Ben Affleck, has to be so glib and selfish that even his reason for uniting a ragtag team of heroes is just to save his face over the fact that he came embarrassingly close to killing a fellow superhero for no real reason.
And that is all to the threadbare script really, which makes me wonder just what did Joss Whedon, one of the brains behind 'Toy Story' and, to hit closer to the mark, the creator of the cinematic Avengers team itself, have to do with this piece of bilge, co-written most incoherently by Chris Terrio, who seems to have forgotten that he had written 'Argo' as well. The director himself feels awkward and hesitant this time around, which means that, in a flash of optimism, that 'Justice League' is at least less loud and hammy than all his previous films and it ends, at least, when it has to. That does not mean, though, that it is even remotely a good film.
For one thing, it is a long excruciating wait for us all before we actually see all of them come together and start doing something. 'Justice League' starts typically with an all-too-literal eulogy for Superman, whom we saw buried beneath the ground at the end of 'Batman V Superman' and then, without the slightest hint of imagination or inspiration, starts tracking down each of the characters without ever bothering to flesh them with soul or even much of enthusiasm.
That is not to say that the actors are any bad; it is just that they deserve a lot better than just being etched out as empty-headed idiots who simply choose a mission because they should choose a mission.
Jason Momoa makes for a very fine Aquaman, if just for the overwhelming visual idea of strength and snobbish sarcasm that he embodies well; he is the only player in the team who has the gall to declare this Batman a nut. Ezra Miller is a lot of fun as Allen but the film carves his Flash to be only a goofball. Ray Fisher is agreeably a tormented Victor Stone but is not given much of an emotional resonance despite the intriguing developments in the beginning.
When I watched 'Wonder Woman' some months ago, I felt that, despite the film's many narrative limitations, it worked because Gal Gadot played the titular character with the same winsome believability as with which Christopher Reeve played the Man Of Steel. This time around, I still believe in the lovely actress' increasing confidence as the iconic lasso-wielding lass of charm but could not help feeling that she is playing it a bit too safely, sticking to the uninteresting plot tropes that Snyder and his team hand out to her. She and the others are all performed earnestly but they are given precious little significant to do. There are bits and pieces when they get their share of the limelight, like Prince holding her own against in a team of men mostly leering at her legs or Aquaman delivering a fine little monologue announcing his intentions. But mostly, they are paper-thin cutouts who are there only to defeat a villain without even the slightest shred of menace.
Maybe it is because 'Justice League' has such a frustratingly imbecile supervillain that the film feels so deprived of real stakes or even the merest hint of danger. Ciaran Hinds' Steppenwolf is a wasted caricature armed with the most ridiculous lines like 'Mother is calling' or 'You will love me,' directed at people trying to stop him. The rest of the fine actors are marginally lucky, with JK Simmons playing a not-so-bad Jim Gordon and the always reliable Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth, the real unsung hero among a crowd of people who think they are heroes. 'I cannot recognise this world,' he laments brilliantly in the film's most resonant line.
He is not wrong, of course. It is increasingly difficult to relate the bleak, grimy world of Snyder's films to whatever the brilliant comics and the films by Richard Donner, Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan had offered to us in the past. Batman's gadgets look like grey, ugly toys and yes, they can be destroyed pretty easily too. The man himself looks more of a fat-necked and furiously inflexible idiot in a suit with Affleck's mediocre performance bordering on being unforgivably vicious and sexist at the same time. Beyond that, the film's desperate attempts to link all that stupid, blatant subtext about people fearing aliens of all types with a half-baked commentary on the necessity of heroes are just laughably bad. I found myself laughing unexpectedly on a throwaway scene in which a foul-mouthed woman complains about her husband being kidnapped by extraterrestrials. For the rest, I was trying not to nod off.
Then, there is the writing, the godawful and risible writing and those senseless plot developments. What is SteppenwoIf's agenda, really? What, in God's name, are those Mother Boxes and why is it so easy to hold them? Why do all the Amazonians run like the unforgettable John Cleese' Sir Lancelot in 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail'? And yes, I was rolling my eyes in some of the dialogue. Amy Adams' Lois Lane nuzzles up to Henry Cavill's newly resurrected Clark Kent in the midst of a Kansas field and says, thoughtfully, 'You smell good'. And a couple of lines, even when said by the naturally effervescent Gadot, don't make any sense at all. Even the occasional punchlines are extremely lame. Did Whedon really co-write this stuff?
Predictably, as if to offer some faint sense of superheroic wonder in the typically overblown climax, Superman shows up, played by Cavill in a refreshingly light and low-key fashion, allowing himself the welcome luxury of a hearty laugh at the end of it all. But it is too late to save the party.
'Justice League' is not just a stinking piece of entertainment. It is also a film that stinks even as a superhero film. It does not even know what to do with the elements even if they are in place. This is a film which plays John Williams' 'Superman' theme in the background when the said hero is instead beating up his own comrades to a pulp.
Let's pray that this band breaks up without any further delay.
My Rating: 1 and a half stars out of 5
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