James Bond- The Series Shaken And Stirred

A glance at all the 24 films of the series- ranked from the terribly gross to the truly great.

24- Quantum Of Solace (2008)

Just when James Bond started getting interesting, thanks to Daniel Craig’s machismo, the makers decided to botch things up deliberately by transforming him into a sort of brutal Jason Bourne, without the amnesia or emotional turmoil. Craig himself does pretty solidly as a dry-witted man of action but everything else is disastrously wrong in Marc Foster’s fast-paced but totally futile outing- from the incoherently staged action to Mathieu Almaric’s charmless villain and even the normally stunning Olga Kurylenko is lackluster as the Bond girl. The locations are good, though.

23- Die Another Day (2002)

For once, the audiences and critics unanimously declared a Bond film to be truly rotten in all aspects. Pierce Brosnan felt as tired as a septuagenarian Roger Moore, the nonsensical yet fantastic plot is wasted on shoddy special effects and mumbo-jumbo and a supporting cast including Rosamund Pike, Tobey Williams and Halle Berry is made so, so bland that it is a wonder that there is even a shred of excitement. Still, it loses out to ‘Quantum’ as the worst simply because it feels old-school to an extent.

22- A View To A Kill (1985)

Roger Moore’s run as Bond was already patchy so it comes as no surprise that his final outing would be so deliriously tiresome. The normally snappy mirth is also missing as Bond shuttles exhaustingly from France to Silicon Valley trying to stop some stupid microchip-hunting villain. Somewhere
between the sloppy action scenes and bland dialogue, there is a nugget of nasty charm in Grace Jones’ fiery henchwoman whose highpoints are jumping from the Eiffel Tower and dispatching a man inside a car wash.

21- The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

Roger Moore is not the real problem in the normally competent Guy Hamilton’s series nadir- a mishmash of awkward Bond tropes, Richard Lester-lite slapstick and even kung-fu elements. Rather, it is how this piece of trashy silliness takes itself so darn seriously that even the most intentionally funny moments are hardly laughable. Christopher Lee occasionally brings a load of menace as the eponymous hot-shot killer and there is a fabulous car stunt midway but less said about the rest, the
better. The girls also are sillier and shriller than even Kate Capshaw in ‘The Temple Of Doom’.

20- The World Is Not Enough (1999)

Inoffensively low-key but nevertheless as dull as Denise Richard’s histrionics, Michael Apted’s film tries to bring some sophistication with a story trotting oil politics in Turkey and a villain who is slowly dying in Robert Carlyle’s icy Renard. The predictable nature of the plot is however boring and even with all fancy gadgetry, there is not much to a film as forgettable as this. The excitement-less climax inside a submarine fittingly sums up the monotonous nature of the film but that lengthy prologue of a chase through London’s docks is a guilty pleasure.

19- Moonraker (1979)

You have to blame George Lucas for this film being so ridiculous- his great, great ‘Star Wars’ induced many to make their own space opera films and the Bond series was not far behind. As long as it stays on the ground, in glitzy locales of Venice and Rio, Lewis Gilbert’s yarn remains pretty much watchable thanks to some nifty action and enjoyably goofy gadgets (a gondola that turns into an hovercraft). Then, the shuttles start to launch and the film nosedives literally on its space-action pretensions. This one even apes the underwater battle of ‘Thunderball’, replacing harpoons with laser blasters. And that final cheesy scene? Well……

18- Spectre (2015)

It is easy to be roped in by its numerous guilty pleasures- the Aston Martin back in action, a handful of quirky gadgets, Dave Bautista and Monica Bellucci. However, surface pleasures don’t quite make Sam Mendes’ deeply flawed 24th outing a soaring success. Sure, there is enough old-world charm in the simplistic plotting and grand explosions and that beginning scene-set in a chaotic Mexico- is a stunner for ages but even with Daniel Craig better than ever as Bond, most of the seriousness falls rather flat. And to top it all, they did not even give enough screen time to Christoph Waltz’s magnificent villain.

17- Thunderball (1965)

Connery-love and 60s nostalgia aside, this film, after three great delights in a row, is pretty much a downer. Not that the plot is bad or anything; rather, the entire premise of SPECTRE ransoming the British government is pretty cool and Connery himself remains firmly in place, great as ever. But even with some great moments- a chilling encounter with a pet shark- and so on, the overall feeling is one of dampened interest. Perhaps it is the slow pacing. Perhaps it is the glacial underwater action. Perhaps, it is a bit admittedly inferior in face of all the other Connery classics. Still, it entertains with both style and sleaze on display.

16- Live And Let Die (1973)

Roger Moore was actually good in his debut outing as Bond but while there is a load of fun in Guy Hamilton’s brassy actioner, there is sadly not much substance. Most of the Harlem and New Orleans-type baddies are unfunny caricatures of Blaxploitation clichés and the action is broadly comic rather than thrilling. None of this is however really bad but the cartoonish tone is rather unwelcome after the delicious wit and grit in Connery’s outings. Still, it is worth a watch, the alligators make up in terms of their menace and that title number by Paul McCartney’s Wings is delicious as hell.

15- Goldeneye (1995)

Trust Martin Campbell to resurrect the series when it is at its lowest. As our number 2 will reveal, the freshness of his direction made the Bond series all very much popular again. Fans lovingly lapped up Pierce Brosnan as a charismatic scoundrel of James Bond, armed with a devilish half-smile and an easy air. The classy Russian locations and the post-Cold War paranoia plot were further icing on the cake. The final standoff- after such frenetic action- is the only disappointment and a big one at that. But let’s not forget how Famke Jenssen, as the ravishing vamp, made up for it. Here was Bond oozing with adrenaline.

14- Octopussy (1983)

Forget the fact that it is crammed with Indian and Russian stereotypes, or the fact that the Faberge Egg has nothing to do with its plot, or that it had Roger Moore dressed up as a…gorilla….and a clown. Sink your teeth gladly into John Glen’s feverish direction as the colorful, bizarre and convoluted storyline tug you into a series of stellar action scenes- a rickshaw chase in Indian gullies, a shikaar transforming into a manhunt and some cool daredevilry inside a train. The gloriously psychedelic nature of the proceedings itself makes us forgive the flimsiness all around. If only it would have been a little less sexist?

13- Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Connery’s last film (I am not counting the unofficial and uninteresting ‘Never Say Never Again’) does not quite have the spark as most of his outings but it is nonetheless a good thrill ride with enough pluck and cheek to make it worthwhile. Bond goes hunting for diamond swindlers, first in Amsterdam, then on to glitzy Las Vegas and along the way, there are a series of entertaining, trademark Connery ropes- a hilariously scary moment inside a coffin, a dune-buggy chase through the Nevada sands and many clever one-liners. Then, the twist kicks in- those diamonds are being used to destroy subs and missiles. Nonsensical? Yes. Enjoyably entertaining? Definitely.

12- For Your Eyes Only (1981)

Moore was always known for lightness but John Glen’s first directorial outing brought a wonderful basic seriousness to the format. The laughs are mostly buttoned down, the locations- from frosty Cortina to sun-kissed Greece- are better than ever and Moore himself remains in check, letting the gloriously unhinged action scenes (including a literally nail-biting cliffhanger) take center stage. The plot is a bit too simple- is the world’s nuclear balance resting merely on a device shaped like a transistor?;and the finale is stripped of bombast. But in face of the embarrassing ‘Moonraker; this is a true delight for Bond fans and yes, it even has Blofeld for a hilarious cameo.

11- Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Unfairly criticized for God-alone-knows-what problems, Roger Spottiswoode’s outing is actually a pretty solid James Bond romp and clearly has the uneven Brosnan at his finest. The story is actually quite compelling- Jonathan Pryce’s delightfully over-the-top media baron gets missiles flying on both British and Chinese ships so as to grab more primetime footage for his weapons. This alone gives opportunity for Bond to do some real ass-kicking, shuttling thrillingly from Hamburg to Vietnam in a series of lightning quick sequences- that motorbike chase is a touchstone for action fans. Also, with Michelle Yeoh as Bond’s spunky partner, there is both heat as well as delicious edge in the proceedings. And it encouraged so many men to buy Ericson handsets too.

10- The Living Daylights (1987)

Timothy Dalton often gets the rap for being the un-funniest Bond. So cruel, given how Daniel Craig proved that unfunny can be unconventionally cool. Dalton is nevertheless way better than what people say- in fact, his laidback, elegant, Welsh charm is alone to make his debut outing such a fascinating affair. But John Glen also made sure that this firecracker outing was not just about the classy locations- Soviet-era Prague, Euro-pudding Austria and busy Morocco and even blasted Afghanistan. ‘The Living Daylights’ also boasts of a taut narrative, dealing with Soviet defection, drugs smuggling and even the Mujahideen. With even an Aston Martin mobile used brilliantly in the action-packed chase, this is classic Bond packaged in a 80s-style zingy bottle.

9- On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

Like Dalton, George Lazenby was unfairly unlucky. The Aussie boy was basically chosen as a stand-in for Connery, who was suddenly having serious doubts about his future as James Bond. And somehow, the fandom treats him just like that. No one realizes how good a stand-in he proved to be. Peter Hunt’s solo venture in the series boasts of some of the most beautifully choreographed sequences of action and lays down the template for car chases, ski pursuits and more girls than Bond can handle. The Swiss locations are a treat, as is Telly Savalas as a campy and enjoyably slick Blofeld. Also, Bond falls in love, marries and even grieves over Diana Rigg’s spirited and charming Teresa. There is then the seamless balance of pure style, sensual romance and thrilling action in this neglected gem. Go revisit it.

8- The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

1977 was a truly special year for movies and James Bond was no exception. Even with all the lame antics of Roger Moore, this was a Bond film which proved that ‘nobody does it better’. Lewis Gilbert directed with astounding narrative balance- handling the pace with calm, unhurried confidence. The action packs clever wit, the locations are beautiful but amazingly understated while the Cold War angle twist is neatly explored without the usual ham-fisted hyperbole. Curt Jurgens makes for an impressively menacing overlord and we also get an impressively scary sight of Jaws, before they made a big fool of him in ‘Moonraker’. Also, Ringo Starr’s beau Barbara Bach looks extremely delectable. This is a Moore Bond film to be really proud of.

7- Licence To Kill (1989)

Want to know from where did Daniel Craig unofficially get his dark, brooding edge? Go no further than 1989’s ‘Licence To Kill’- the darkest horse of the bunch and undoubtedly one of the most thrilling Bond outings to be captured on the screen. A resounding flop at its time, this throbbing actioner today gets its due as one of the most nuanced and exciting in the series. And it all owes as much to Dalton’s fiery vengeful streak- as he sets out to avenge best buddy Felix Leiter- as to its gritty, explosive scenes of action- the final truck chase is dirty, grubby and superbly enthralling. And yes there are even sunbaked Latin American locales, a stunner in Talisa Soto’s dusky moll and even Benicio Del Toro as one, really crazed psychopath. Go eat it up like a shark.

6- Dr. No (1962)

The first film in the series did get so much right. It made Sean Connery the unquestioned face of Ian Fleming’s martini-swilling spy (though Craig replaced him four decades later). It made us all perk up our ears for Monty Norman’s addictive theme tune. It made us all hooked to sleek car chases, explosions and it made us bite our knuckles on seeing Joseph Wiseman’s steely eponymous villain. And most crucially, it made us all adolescents come of age, all hot and bothered, with Ursula Andress in a wet, white bikini. So, you should really forget that it looks so old. Well, it will always be evergreen. ‘Dr.No’ set the template so well that we never really needed anything else. Recent outings still have to match this perfection.

5- Skyfall (2012)

There are some who go on to call this mesmerizing, moody 50th anniversary celebration as the best of them all. I would not go so far to call it that- sure, Sam Mendes’ classy offering has its own share of problems- mostly how it often sacrifices complexity and intelligent plotting for more emotional backstory and old-school charm. But all misgivings go out of the window once you realize how sensational this film actually is- from the frenetic, balletic bursts of action to the mouthwateringly-shot locales (dusty Istanbul, panoramic Shanghai, operatic Macau, blimey London and also murky Scotland) to the tongue-in-cheek banter and even the Aston Martin cameo. ‘Skyfall’ is essentially a big, swinging party of everything- both the vintage leisurely charm and the new-found seriousness- that makes Bond so endurably entertaining. As a film, it is also endowed with that rare thing in a Bond film- a throbbing heart of pain. And in Javier Bardem’s slithery villain, the hellish face of terror we all know too well.

4- You Only Live Twice (1967)

Yes, it is silly. Yes, it is a tad racist. Yes, it has the most nonsensical of all storylines- what else when the writer in question is children’s favorite Roald Dahl, turning Ian Fleming’s otherwise verbose thriller into a big action romp that is one of the finest, most unsung triumphs in the series. This was the Bond film I grew up with- humming Nancy Sinatra’s sensuous vocals and those beautifully uplifting swells in the opening theme song. And of course, I can count all my favorite moments- Bond’s faked death, the glittering sights of Tokyo, the first meeting with Tanaka, ‘Little Nellie’ with her missiles and flame-throwers, the ominous scenes of spaceships swallowing each other and that grand finale- the reveal of Blofeld (Donald Pleasence, in an act that only Christoph Waltz could beat). But name me just one person who cannot go gaga over Sean Connery’s Japanese brows or that helicopter with the huge magnet or even those nifty Toyotas. And I would be glad to feed the said person to a pool full of piranhas.

3- Goldfinger (1964)

As in the case of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, it would be unfair to call ‘Goldfinger’ as really the best of the series. Let’s first get done with things that don’t quite click. The locales- other than some slinky Miami and some frosty Swiss hills-are virtually non-existent, the Aston Martin DB5 deserved some more moments (yeah, actually) and the climax is just silly bombast. And all these little niggles bother because everything else is just so darn good. Right from start to finish, Guy Hamilton fashions a taut, tongue-in-cheek Bond yarn which is crammed with terrific humor, cheeky sleaze and streaks of pitch-black menace. Everything is classic- from Connery in top form, especially when stealthily having a close shave to the golf game with its delicious banter, from Honor Blackman’s feisty Pussy Galore and her flying circus to the plot involving the Fort Knox and Nazi gold. And then, there is Gert Frobe as clearly the greatest villain- all set to slice up Bond with a laser, as much to wax eloquent about it. There is also the Aston Martin- a daredevil of a gadget car which we can never get enough of. There is Q with his famous line, about how he never jokes about his work. There is Shirley Bassey belting out the greatest Bond song (rivalled only by Adele’s ‘Skyfall’). And then, there is Oddjob with his deadly bowler hat.

2- Casino Royale (2006)

James Bond had officially become a passed-out fad, a fizzled out firecracker by the time the 21st century had begun. The films were even more nonsensical than before (‘Die Another Day’, ugh!), Pierce Brosnan increasingly cast in stupid films that mocked his image of a gun-toting and womanizing killer enforced in these films and all we remembered of the old films were spoofs in the Austin Powers movies. So, give credit to Martin Campbell and Brit hunk Daniel Craig to resurrect the great man from the Ian Fleming paperbacks and not only make Bond more accessible, without all his hang-ups of martini and gadgetry, but also make him popular enough for entertainment. ‘Casino Royale’ benefits superbly from a plot which has real stakes (in Mads Mikkelsen), and yet does not sound too po-faced (credit Neil Purvis, Robert Wade and Paul Haggis for that), a Bond who is unafraid both to get his hands dirty as well as unload a bit of emotional, lovelorn baggage and action scenes that feel coherent even as they dazzle with their sheer pace and scale. For the first time, we saw a Bond film that gave its due to its female eye-candy- the stunning, innocuous yet sketchy Vesper Lynd played by a too-beautiful-to-believe Eva Green- for the first time, a series more than 40 years old started feeling fresh.

1- From Russia With Love (1963)

Between the basics of ‘Dr.No’ and the blaring brilliance of ‘Goldfinger’, there is a real gem of a spy movie- which might be the finest film in the series, hands down. Inevitably, ‘From Russia With Love’ also set the template for almost every mainstream spy thriller that came after it- extraordinary locations, explosions, tough henchmen (thank Robert Shaw’s beefy brute Red Grant for that) and stealthy assassins too (think of Lotte Lenya as the mousy yet murderous Rosa Klebb with her devilish shoes). As a Bond caper, it also introduced a whole lot of cheeky sexuality into modern cinema-and not just those saucily plunging necklines, but also the one-liners that ooze with innuendo. But what is also fascinating is how Terence Young roots the premise into refreshing coherence- the Cold War tensions, the plot wonderfully stripped from bombast, the often-ingenious gadgetry (that attaché case is a box of nasty surprises) and the gritty, practical action (the scuffle inside the Orient Express is still a bone-chiller). And Connery rules the roost- affable, meltingly seductive and always confident that nobody does it better than him.